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function ord ()
{
var ar = new Array(16)
ar[0] = "Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?"
ar[1] = "Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."
ar[2] = "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
ar[3] = "When you stop struggle, that's when they've beaten you."
ar[4] = "Don't drink and drive - you might spill your drink!"
ar[5] = "Computers in the future may... perhaps only weight 1.5 tons. [1949]"
ar[6] = "The game of life is hard to play. I'm gonna lose it anyway. [mark altman]"
ar[7] = "It's cold outside, no kind of atmosphere."
ar[8] = "Between midsummer and August, Swedes become a nation of pilgrims in Volvos. [t. tomaszewiski]"
ar[9] = "Mary's little lamb are now raised by wolfs."
ar[10] = "The fork Luke, use the fork!"
ar[11] = "Others may hate you. Those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. [r. nixon]"
ar[12] = "You guys know how to get a chicken out of the VCR? [friends]"
ar[13] = "What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic."
ar[14] = "I love deadlines. I especially love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. [d. adams]"
ar[15] = "Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full. I say, are you going to drink that? [l. claymen]"
var now = new Date()
var sec = now.getSeconds()
document.write(ar[sec % 6])
}

ord();
//-->